Fortune Cookie Weirdness

So the other day I was at the grocery store (listening to the 24 soundtrack on my Treo), and couldn't resist indulging a compulsion for fortune cookies. Lo and behold I found a neat little stack of a dozen for 99 cents packaged in clear plastic cases, located rather inexplicably in the import foods section. (Fortune cookies are of course an American creation, and these were actually made in Houston by Southern Noodle Co., Inc.) The red-on-white label made four promises - "Fresh", "Great Taste", "Extra Crunchy", and "20 Years of Making Great Fortune Cookies" - three of which I can attest were fulfilled.

Since then, however, I've eaten half the box, and been fairly confounded by the rather bizarre fortunes contained within. Consider...

"Big brother is not watching you. You are watching it."

"All disasters can become blessings. All blessings can become disasters."

"A cynic is a person who looks down at those above."

"Productive people have more leisure time."

"To understand is to pardon."

"Love does not always wear a friendly face."

Transcribing these just now, I can't help but wonder if I might be facing some sort of existential crisis, so I think I'd better try a seventh one right now. Here goes...

"Your present plans are going to succeed."

Uh-oh.