I admit it. I love Special K Red Berries...

Among my very favorite consumables right now are chocolate soy milk, Whole Foods doughnuts, and Kellogg's Special K Red Berries cereal - the last of which is unfortunately burdened by two particularly ponderous mysteries.

First of all, I don't really get this whole concept of gender-specific food (which Iron Chef viewers know is even more prevalent in Japan - i.e. the inexplicable Men's Pocky - but I digress). I mean, which of these ingredients possibly necessitates me buying my cereal of choice in a girly pink box with Courtney Thorne-Smith or someone on it? (Nothing against Ms. Thorne-Smith, mind you.) It's just arbitrary marketing nonsense, like General Mills telling me that Cocoa Puffs and Cookie Crisp are only for kids. (Oh, wait. Um...)

Secondly, why the hell is it called Special K Red Berries and not, you know, Special K Strawberries? I mean, the only berries in the damn cereal are strawberries (even if they are freeze-dried time-traveling astronaut strawberries). It's not like it's some random or mysterious combination of various red berries - like cranberries and raspberries, or something - and yet that's exactly what the name perplexingly implies. (Either that or some artificial, genetically-engineered berry abominations... made by communists.) I ask you, what sort of insanely inept test marketing led to naming it "Red Berries"?

It's damn good cereal, though. (Especially with chocolate soy milk.)