Thursday, July 07, 2005

Fantastic Four is crap.


I haven't written much about this year's batch of big summer movies because for the most part they haven't been worth writing about. So far, I think the only ones really worth your time (and dime) are the magical Howl's Moving Castle, the magnificent Batman Begins, and the masterful Cinderella Man, all of which I highly recommend. (War of the Worlds, btw, I do not, mainly because it's fundamentally stupid and completely cops out in the third act. Don't get me started.)

Anyway, earlier this week I dutifully endured Fantastic Four, which is the latest in an astonishing string of bad/failed comic book movies Marvel's been carelessly churning out without sufficient time, money, common sense, or basic respect/understanding of the characters/material (see Blade: Trinity, Man-Thing, Elektra, The Punisher, Hulk, Daredevil - or don't, actually), even though their own history has instructed them otherwise (see Spider-Man 2, X-Men 2).

Fantastic Four is boring and stupid. I really kinda hated it, save for Michael Chiklis' Thing, and some of his mildly amusing interplay with Chris Evans' [inexplicably non-blond] Johnny Storm. But overall, I concur with the majority of critics like Roger Ebert, who in his withering one star review says the film should be ashamed to show itself in the same theaters as Batman Begins. Meanwhile, at various points in his New York Times review, A.O. Scott calls the film proudly dumb, loud, inconsequential, cheap, cheesy, content to be trashy and, my favorite, fantastic only in its commitment to mediocrity (though that's something the film only barely achieves at its intermittent best). Harry also offers an insightful (if a tad too forgiving) take on the film's problems, though when you get right down to it "comparing any of this film to The Incredibles is painful. There's nothing in this that even comes close to being that cool." - and "of the big summer films so far, it is by far the worst." Avoid. Like the plague.

P.S.: And btw, the film is also responsible for The Worst Movie Tie-In Toy Ever.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hulk was not a failure. Best Mavel film so far.

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Jokes Driscoll said...

I won't be caught dead in this film. It looks dreadful. The makeup effects make the Thing look like a cross between a burn victim and those super-dry turds you get when you're really constipated. Seeing the cheesy effects and the god-awful casting (save Chiklis)all brought to you by the director of Barbershop should be enough to keep any moviegoer with an ounce of sense at bay.

10:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

See now, I enjoyed the momments with the Thing and Johhny enough for me to not absolutely hate the movie. Instead I'd say I mildly liked it.

It really is to bad that Marvel seems unable to make another Spider-Man or X-Men series quality flick. And hell even X-Men will be dead after the 3rd one is released thanks to the retards at Fox.

12:11 AM  

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