Weekend RoboShopper: Incredibles Phone, James Bond Spy Camera, Life-Size X-Wing, Popemobile

One day last Fall, I discovered a colorful little flyer accompanying my monthly SBC phone bill, enticing me with an offer of a free Limited Edition The Incredibles Collector's Phone. It was pretty. It was red. And it lit up! All I had to do was sign up for some new plan, which seemed not particularly extravagant or irrational, so I happily called the number, waited an interminably long time for an actual person, and finally told her, "Hi, I'd like to sign up for this plan, and get my Incredibles phone." I was put on hold. Eventually I was told that the phone offer was only for new customers. Well, first of all, the flyer said no such thing. And besides, if that were the case, why on earth had it been sent to me, an existing customer? Just to taunt me?

The hapless corporate minion (er, customer service representative) couldn't answer such rational questions. So I peppered her with more. Can I just buy the phone? No. If I tell you to cancel my service right now, and then immediately reactivate it, will I then qualify for the phone? She couldn't promise anything, except that I'd have to pay a disconnection fee. I asked for a supervisor. None was available. Eventually, after repeated calls, I finally spoke to one, but to no avail. All I wanted was that red phone, dammit - which I'd have happily paid for - but they wouldn't let me have one, under any circumstances. And I was a loyal customer.

Suffice it to say that SBC sucks, and are populated by evil bastards.

Anyway, I eventually ended up snagging the phone on ebay for under $50, and love it - except for the damn SBC logo. But now, months later, SBC is selling the phone on its website to anyone who wants it for a mere $30 plus tax and shipping, no strings attached. Bastards.

Speaking of ebay... (I sorta was, wasn't I? Oh, just humor me.) A nearly full-scale X-Wing Fighter replica was up for bid through yesterday, but didn't sell, so it'll probably be relisted soon. (The minimum bid was $40K.) And over on German ebay, you have four days left to bid on a 1999 Volkswagen Golf previously owned by Cardinal Josef Ratzinger, aka Pope Benedict XVI. The current high bid is 61K Euros (approx. $79K).

Finally, you can also snag the first officially licensed James Bond Spy Camera at ThinkGeek for $100. It's a tiny digital camera in a brushed metal Zippo-esque lighter casing, but unfortunately only takes 640x480 (.3 megapixel) pictures - though it does have a nifty surveillance mode (you can set it to take shots at up to 90 minute intervals over days on end), and can make short video (or long audio) recordings.

Exploding Toads & Other Signs of the Apocalypse

The BBC reported Tuesday that thousands of toads in northern Germany are dying off due to a mysterious disease - they are exploding.

"You can see the animals crawling on the ground, swelling three and a half times their normal size, and then exploding," said German conservationist Werner Smolnik. The toads' entrails are then propelled over three feet, according to "baffled" scientists. Luckily, the amphibian apocalypse seemed to be confined to a "pond of death" in Hamburg's Altona district...

...at least until today, when the AP reported it had spread to Denmark. But at least now scientists have a theory, based on forensic analysis. Berlin veterinary surgeon Frank Mutschmann believes that hungry crows are pecking the livers right out of the unsuspecting toads, who then puff themselves up as a natural defense mechanism - "but when their livers are taken away and their stomachs are punctured, their blood vessels explode, their lungs collapse and the other organs come out." But the horror doesn't end there. Oh, no. "The toads burst, the entrails slide out. But the animal isn't immediately dead - they keep struggling for several minutes," says biologist Heidi Mayerhoefer. "It's horrible." Um... yeah.

Meanwhile, in Carroll, Iowa, "city officials are perplexed over a discovery of mysterious chunks of flesh that have been clogging up city water lines." Eek.

Jack Bauer goes to Japan (and is coming to PS2)

As you may or may not know, The Jack Bauer Power Hour (aka 24) has been my favorite show for some time now, and is probably the most consistently badass series ever produced. I mean, I never ever tire of Kiefer exclaiming "Dammit!", and, well, I worship the Reiko.

Anyway, the online Kiefer shrine that is Kiefer-Rocks.com tipped me off to a surreally amusing Japanese ad campaign for the CalorieMate Block snack bar, which features an incongruously badge-wearing, parallel universe incarnation of Jack Bauer (who actually seems to have sufficient back-up for once). You can watch the commercials here, which finally reveal why he never has to stop for a meal.

In other news, they also report that Kiefer may be spoofing his alter ego on Family Guy this season, and holy crap, there's a 24 PS2 game coming this fall! Check out the cool three-minute preview here (username: preview / password: C3%qt24).

The Serenity trailer is here. And a sneak!

At long last comes a two-minute glimpse of Joss Whedon's Serenity - the motion picture sequel to his visionary television series Firefly, which is one of my very favorite things. (Serenity is #3 on My Top 10 Must-See Films of '05 list, btw.) Meanwhile, AICN has an amusing interview with actors Nathan Fillion and Adam Baldwin, which is a fun read. ("I'm thinking this is going to give some children nightmares," Nathan says. "I've got a purple and black spot on my ass from my holster that won't go away.") Serenity opens September 30.

UPDATE: BIG NEWS! In 10 cities at 10pm next Thursday (May 5), Universal will be sneak previewing an unfinished version of Serenity. Screenings will be held in Atlanta, Austin, Boston, Chicago, Denver, Las Vegas, Portland, Sacramento, Seattle and Chicago - and you can buy tickets online here while they last. (They're selling like hotcakes!)

Superman's new costume (is kinda weird)

On Friday, Warner Bros. unveiled the first look at Brandon Routh in costume as the new Superman [click pic to zoom in], and I've spent a considerable amount of time since then scratching my head in dismay. All in all, I have to say I'm disappointed and confounded by the redesign. First off, the signature "S" insignia has been shrunk into a strange passivity, and is now some sort of weird breastplate badge attached to the suit (rather than an integral part of the suit itself). Plus it's been boldly duplicated into the belt buckle, which takes away from its impact - while also accentuating the now (too) low-cut trunks, which are distractingly Speedo-esque. And while I don't mind the new blue, I really dislike the overly muted deep scarlet, which should be a more vibrant, vital red. And then there's the now-circular collar, which has been severely constrained, with the cape meekly poking out of the sides, rather than flourishing out from across the collarbones.

Unfortunately, the mainstream press - like USA Today - have almost completely failed to notice these changes, but fans on the internet haven't - and are proceeding to redesign the redesign. (Two choice examples are by Graig Weich at Beyond Comics and dualedge on MCN.)

I mean, c'mon. This is Superman, dammit...

P.S.: Turner Classic Movies will present the original Superman this Thursday at 10pm (9pm CST) in its full letterboxed glory. (You can of course also buy the Special Edition DVD, which is a must-have.)

Cool stuff at Chiasso

So I got the new Chiasso catalog in the mail today, which is regularly replete with tantalyzing temptations, but this is just unfair.

Behold the innocuously named Portion Dispenser, which appears to have been deliberately designed to deliver my favorite cereal. And while I could probably resist it at $88, I was dismayed to discover it discounted 25% online to $66, which is just evil. (Destiny can be so annoying sometimes.)

There are of course plenty of other goodies in this month's catalog, including the Footprint Doormat, the coolest salt and pepper shakers I've ever seen, and the much-celebrated Tape Timer (each of which is a mere $18). You can request or browse the catalog online.

Cine Las Americas opens tonight with Machuca

The eighth annual Cine Las Americas International Film Festival opens tonight at the Texas State History Museum with the regional premiere of Andrés Wood's critically-acclaimed Machuca. It's been nominated for both a Goya and an Ariel this year, and co-stars one of my favorite actors, Federico Luppi (who starred in Guillermo's El Espinazo del Diablo and Cronos). A coming-of-age story set against the backdrop of Chile's 1973 military coup, it will also be the second new Chilean film in a month I've had the privilege to see after Nicolás López's wonderful Promedio Rojo at SXSW. (As you may or may not know, I'm half-Chilean, so this is exciting for me. Viva Chile!) Plus, as an added bonus, the after-party tonight is at the always yummy Doña Emilia's. (Last week's Austin Chronicle previewed the film and the festival.)

The Vatican's Astronomer

I realize I may be posting a disconcerting disproportion of Catholic-related articles, but hey, it's Pope Week, so I thought I'd also dust off one of my favorite articles from last year - Astrobiology Magazine's fascinating interview with Brother Guy Consolmagno, Curator of Meteorites at the Vatican Observatory at Castel Gandolfo.

"The religious fundamentalists, basically, are scared that they don't have faith, which is why they cling so tightly to what little they've got. The science fundamentalists, I think some of them just want to be taken seriously as scientists and they think, well I have to show that I've rejected anything else. So in that sense, science and religion are very separate. And Stephen Jay Gould had it right up to that point in his book "Rocks of Ages". But what he misses is that every human being is a person with religious beliefs, who also is a scientist. At the fundamental level -- Why do I do this? What am I looking for? Why do I choose this question instead of that question to study? What kind of picture of God do I get at the end of the day when I see that the universe is not just a dome over a flat Earth, the way that Genesis describes it, but is infinite numbers of multiverses? -- what science does is expand my view of how big God is."

P.S.: And btw, if you missed Charlie Rose last night, you missed a wonderful interview with the disarmingly funny Monsignor Lorenzo Albacete (Professor of Theology at St. Joseph's Seminary and author of God at the Ritz: Attraction to Infinity). I would dearly love to have dinner with him and Guillermo - and watch them become best friends.

Miracles arrives on DVD

It is a curious bit of irony that the day the Vatican selects the 265th Pope happens to be the same day Miracles is finally released on DVD.

Created by Richard Hatems and executive produced by the über-cool David Greenwalt, this beautifully produced and evocatively intelligent series aired just six times two years ago before it was prematurely cancelled by the bastards at ABC, leaving another seven episodes never seen - until today. Skeet Ulrich starred (opposite Angus Macfadyen and Marisa Ramirez) as Paul Callan, a faith-tested investigator (and usually debunker) of miracles for the Catholic Church who, when nearly killed in a brutal car accident, sees the words "God is now here" formed by his own blood. Soon it is revealed to him that many others have had similar visions, with one very important difference - they all saw the words "God is nowhere."

Far superior to the current Revelations or Medium, Miracles was a worthy successor to The X-Files, and met with significant critical acclaim. (In particular, the second episode - "The Friendly Skies", written by Angel co-creator David Greenwalt - ranks right up there with the very best episodes of The Twilight Zone.) Anyway, this is yet another one of those rare flashes of genuine brilliance on television tragically extinguished too soon (like Wonderfalls, Firefly, and David Greenwalt's other short-lived work of wonder, Profit - which comes out on DVD this August). Sodalitas Quaerito!

Flying cars are coming. (Finally!)

I'm really kicking myself for missing 60 Minutes on Sunday, as they aired a segment entitled Flying Cars Ready To Take Off. Not only did they take a look at Woody Norris' AirScooter, Paul Moller's SkyCar [video excerpt] and Jay Carter's CarterCopter prototypes, they also covered NASA's visionary $130 million GPS-driven Highway in the Sky program [video excerpt], an automated computer navigation system "designed to let millions of people fly whenever they please, in their very own vehicles". Very interesting stuff (and you can read the whole transcript online).

Ridley Scott talks Kingdom of Heaven

Yesterday's Sunday Times has an illuminating feature interview with Ridley Scott regarding Kingdom of Heaven (a film the Times calls "sensational").

"I am trying to get across the fact that not everyone in the West is a good guy, and not all Muslims are bad. The tragedy is that we still have a lack of understanding between us, and it is 900 years since the crusades. We have never truly resolved our differences."

Kingdom of Heaven opens May 6, and is one of my Top Ten Must-See Films of 2005. (You can view the trailers here.)

WT's Bevan & Fellner talk to The Guardian

"Making movies is like herding cats."

The Guardian has a really good interview with producers Tim Bevan and Eric Fellner, co-chairmen of Working Title Films, one of the most successful production companies in Britain - or anywhere else, for that matter, having grossed $3 billion since 1992, and $600 million last year alone with films ranging from Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason to Shaun of the Dead. (Their new film, Sydney Pollack's The Interpreter, opens Friday.)

rMOTO Electric Superbike Concept

Behold the rMOTO Electric Superbike Concept by ROBRADY design in Sarasota, Florida. You know you want one.

Clark Kent Returns...

Yesterday in Sydney, Australia, Clark Kent returned to the streets of Metropolis. For the first time in almost two decades, a new Superman movie is filming, and it is far and away the one film I'm most looking forward to next year.

Getty Images has a gallery of photos online from Saturday's exterior shoot, and there's more news (and pictures and behind-the-scenes video) on The Superman Homepage, BlueTights.net and BrandonRouth.com.

Decapitated, Laser-Reanimated Zombie Flies

Okay, now just bear with me a minute here and try to focus...

Boing Boing (my favorite blog) reported yesterday that the new issue of Cell (the Journal of Experimental Biology) includes a fascinating and rather disturbing article by Susana Q. Lima and Gero Miesenböck entitled "Remote Control of Behavior through Genetically Targeted Photostimulation of Neurons". Basically, it describes how with genetically encoded "phototriggers", particular neurons in Drosophila (flies) can be made light-addressable - meaning they can be activated remotely with targeted light (i.e. lasers), thus revealing the connection between specific neurons and specific actions (such as jumping and even flight). Potentially, this provides a method to map neural networks, and could even lead to neural prosthetics.

But you know what it really means? That we can now make decapitated flies fly by shooting lasers at them, and then post video of it on the internet. Science is fun!

TRAILERS: Save The Green Planet, Night Watch, Kingdom of Heaven, Domino

The good folks behind Apple's Movie Trailers webpage have posted some cool stuff over the past few days. First up are the new U.S. trailers for two recent overseas phenomena - the unapologetically insane Save The Green Planet from South Korea, and the mind-expanding horror epic Night Watch from Russia. (AICN has more info on the latter, as well as the trailer to the sequel, Day Watch). Then there's a trailer each from the Brothers Scott - the exclusive online trailer for Ridley Scott's Crusades epic Kingdom of Heaven (along with a behind-the-scenes featurette), and Tony Scott's Keira Knightley gunfest Domino. Come to think of it, I doubt there will be four more radically different movies coming out this year.

P.S.: And btw, go see Kung Fu Hustle this weekend if you haven't already. It's blissful delirium.

Mister Tape is at Flax.

Mister Tape will be your special friend... in white or green for $26 plus shipping from Flax art & design in San Francisco. I just got their new catalog in the mail today, which is always awash in whimsy - though you can just as easily browse their offerings online (or in their 28,000 sq. ft. store on Market Street at Valencia, which puts you a mere six blocks from eating at Catch, which Josh recommends).

Note they also carry the cool Ergo-Sof PenAgain (I wrote about it last month) for $12, not to mention an oddly tempting Rooster Alarm Clock on sale for just $10. But I think what I really want are the Fingerprints Necktie and Watch designed by James Wines ($40 and $139, respectively).

...and, yes, America's Next Top Model.

While I'm getting things off my chest, I might as well come clean about my not-so-secret guilty pleasure that is America's Next Top Model, which I've been watching religiously since the first season - er, "cycle". (They don't call them seasons, since the series airs twice a year, but does anyone else find the choice of "cycle" a little, um, connotationally unfortunate?)

Anyway, the show has been surprisingly, inexplicably fantastic since its inception - until this season. (I'm just gonna call it a season, okay?) Sure, there's been the lovely, seizure-cursed Rebecca who collapsed during judging, and socially-handicapped wrestler Michelle with the flesh-eating bacteria scare, but overall this season's cast has been remarkably unremarkable, and by far the least interesting and charismatic yet (not to mention the most generally inept). Although one nice treat has been the weekly 45-second "My Life As A CoverGirl" spots (online under "Extras") featuring last season's thoroughly adorable winner Eva, but then again they just prove to remind us how much better last season was.

However, the one standout who's clearly (if quietly) emerged this season is the eclectically exotic Naima, and at this point I think/hope there's no way she can't win. (She's already won the online poll five weeks running.) But Brittany definitely has the most personality, even if she is a somewhat disturbingly freakish Janice Dickenson clone.

Anyway, ANTM airs Wednesdays at 8pm (7pm CST) opposite Lost, but repeats Fridays at 7pm opposite practically nothing.

P.S.: FYI, you can now get an 80-hour TiVo for just $99 - $200 off! (Submit my e-mail address as a referral when you activate it and I'll get TiVo points!) There are also lots of TiVo deals at Amazon.com.

I admit it. I love Special K Red Berries...

Among my very favorite consumables right now are chocolate soy milk, Whole Foods doughnuts, and Kellogg's Special K Red Berries cereal - the last of which is unfortunately burdened by two particularly ponderous mysteries.

First of all, I don't really get this whole concept of gender-specific food (which Iron Chef viewers know is even more prevalent in Japan - i.e. the inexplicable Men's Pocky - but I digress). I mean, which of these ingredients possibly necessitates me buying my cereal of choice in a girly pink box with Courtney Thorne-Smith or someone on it? (Nothing against Ms. Thorne-Smith, mind you.) It's just arbitrary marketing nonsense, like General Mills telling me that Cocoa Puffs and Cookie Crisp are only for kids. (Oh, wait. Um...)

Secondly, why the hell is it called Special K Red Berries and not, you know, Special K Strawberries? I mean, the only berries in the damn cereal are strawberries (even if they are freeze-dried time-traveling astronaut strawberries). It's not like it's some random or mysterious combination of various red berries - like cranberries and raspberries, or something - and yet that's exactly what the name perplexingly implies. (Either that or some artificial, genetically-engineered berry abominations... made by communists.) I ask you, what sort of insanely inept test marketing led to naming it "Red Berries"?

It's damn good cereal, though. (Especially with chocolate soy milk.)

Robogeek returns... with a nuvo robot army!

Holy crap! Sorry for the unannounced leave of absence, but I've been profoundly swamped with work on a dizzying array of fronts (plus there have been some intermittent problems with Blogger). Anyway, I'm back, and was pleased as punch to read that the (15", 5.5 lb.) nuvo robot from ZMP has finally gone on sale in Japan. I mean, it responds to voice commands, can be remotely controlled by your cell phone (to which it can send you digital photos), and can dance. Granted, it costs $5,450, but it sure looks cool, huh? (Check out the 6-part, 28-minute introductory video.)

2005 Texas Film Festival

I'm on my way out the door to hit the road to this year's Texas Film Festival, currently underway at Texas A&M University. I founded the festival back in 1993 as a student, and will be previewing my new short Heads or Tails out-of-competition in the Shorts Program at 5pm, which will be a little surreal. (I may also be doing an unscheduled screening of Termination tomorrow before Barbecue: A Texas Love Story at 2pm). As always, I'm really looking forward to being back, and it sounds like this year's fest is going great so far. (Among other things, for the first time ever all festival screenings are now free for students, which I think is extremely cool.)

Weekend reading...

I'm on my way out of town for the weekend (more on that in a moment), but here's some weekend reading...

First of all, The Guardian has a good article on the art and business of making movie trailers appropriately entitled "To cut a long story short". Meanwhile, Empire Online offers a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at Watchmen, which is now in pre-production in London. And finally, IGN has an amusing look at the 1967 Wonder Woman TV series that never was.